the April 1, 1852 issue ...
Victrola Watson Gives Birth;
PUDDIN-ON-THE-HEAD, ENGLAND Noted local explorer and treasure-seeker Henry M. Watson today became the father of yet another vigorous man-child destined to carry on the adventurous Watson tradition that has spanned five continents and three decades. Watson, certain of this outcome, had started celebrations last evening as soon as his wife went into labor, and a manservant arrived at the Sows Teat to inform him of the event.
"A round on my little man!" Watson is reported to have told the innkeeper, starting a tab for the newest member of the Watson clan before the boy had drawn first breath.
When Henry Watson arrived home the next morning, however, his wife, local beauty and reputed half-gypsy Victrola Watson, was reticent about giving even the most basic details of the birth, stating that the new baby might have been born this morning or born yesterday, for all Henry should know. She also was heard to tell her husband that the new babys name was "Ormond Sacker" for all he would ever care.
The Watsons, known in the neighborhood of Burkle Square for their great noisy rows and passionate reconciliations when not traveling abroad, were soon seen to be merrily fussing over each other, the baby, and their earlier son, Wee Henry. At that time, Watson gave callers his final word on the new man in the house:
"I say he was born yesterday, and I say his name is John H. Watson, M.D., which will save us money on putting him through medical school. And as soon as this lad can hold a wicket, Im going to teach him to wallop the shins of anyone who calls him Ormond damned-frog Sacker!"
Asked what the "H." stood for, Henry Watson whacked the questioner on the shins with a wicket until he left the room.