From the November 6, 1855 issue . . .

Henry M. Watson Dies of Drink In Smoke-filled Saloon

No Loose Women Or Gambling Involved

ATLANTIC OCEAN — Relatives learned recently that man of the cloth Henry M. Watson is dead of drink-related causes. Rumors of smoke filling the saloon in which he died have many thinking tobacco was also involved, but no actual cheroots or other smoking materials have been confirmed. Gambling and loose women have also been ruled out, as he was traveling on an all-male ship and was known to have spent all his money on charitable donations to the Gloria Scott Crew Retirement Fund. Reports from anonymous nautical sources also say that he had just finished treating everyone in the place to a round of drinks, which must have surely used up any possible funds for possible gambling that he had remaining. Obviously a well-liked fellow, Henry Watson has long been known for both his fearlessness and his innocence, both of which may have contributed to his not considering the eleven armed soldiers who apparently had serious objections to his drinking. Henry Watson’s last drink was said to be a tumbler full of brown sherry, a favorite among the British Watsons.

Henry Watson is survived by his wife Victrola and his two sons, the ominously named Henry Junior and John H., M.D., formerly known as Ormond Sacker, all currently on an ocean cruise.